James awoke at the same time he did every morning, so early though one might as well call it night, he started his daily routines at the hours of 3 a.m. One might think it merely an adaption to the career he had currently taken as a graveskeeper, though in all honesty he had always been one to awake at the earliest of hours his sleeping schedule separated into three hour and a half segments rather than one straight through 8 hours. Perhaps he grew into such a state of sleeping as his own method of distancing himself to his normal life of excessive ordinary.
He checked his phone for messages as he did every morning, followed by checking the weather forecast on an app of his before finding himself comfortable enough to rise placing the phone back atop his cupboard, He stretched a moment before putting in the effort to make his bed to what he deemed satisfactory condition which meant almost militaristically, straightening all edges and tucking them in.
Upon finishing the first of his daily tasks he would move to his closet carefully picking and placing a black suit and tie followed by a dark overcoat to weather the cold winds the forecast had laid claim to. His fascination to sticking with one colour led him to pick out a black shirt rather than one of his many other colours. His favourite dress shoes as he looked upon them would soon need replacing for they had been worn and weathered to an extent even if a cobbler were to fix them up it would be a waste.
Adding to future plans for himself would be the need to buy replacements. He followed a similar structure every morning and this was no different heading himself to his bathroom he would brush his teeth slowly and methodically counting as he did so in a lulled soothing manner before flossing and hopping into his shower which he took cold and brisk no need to let his mind wander for inside he already knew same as always boredom would lay it's head from beneath his soul and claw down strong.
Dressing at a quickened yet careful manner he would find himself carbon metal cuff links set his tie straight comb his hair to perfection and head downstairs. his house a semi detached one white in colour neatly painted, and easy to spot as having had care taken in it from the house itself to the garden in front which held a small cherry blossom tree and a collection of many coloured flowers going down it's pathway, the grass a healthy hue of green and trimmed to standard. He took his breakfast, cleaned the dishes and left the house taking care to lock the door and gently nestle his key in his coat pocket.
He had a car but he much preferred to walk and so would as he usually chose do so, he chose to listen to nothing but the world surrounding him itself taking in careful calmed breaths, and looking at his surroundings the houses that belonged to the few neighbours he had despite being part of an estate his house was laid in the dead end corner of it;s area, peaceful how he liked it to some degree.
He walked rhythmically almost counting his steps as he strode forward the gentle clap of his boots against the concrete of the path he would take some satisfaction in. The night's darkness still held it's air the stars though had begun to disperse in vision by this hour leaving a moonscape of darkness which held to itself some beauty. His walk would last him an hour of travel before he reached his destination. Upon which time he would take his key and open the gates he always found his first steps into the bowels of the dead charming. Not sure how long it had been but he always felt some connection to lands of deadness more so even than that of the living, it made him feel truly, though not sure what exactly to call his feeling he enjoyed it nevertheless for simple satisfaction meant not emotional attachment for this man who's mind often wandered to the realms of his own eternal torment of boredom.
He began his work simply clearing weeds from the older graves and brushing his hand across the tombstones something which he had often done since he started working as a graveskeeper, and perhaps somewhere deep inside he could tell that while he did so he held an almost smile something wholly unusual for him.
he found some scribbles of delinquency in the older tombs though nothing he could not handle easily enough with handkerchief and care, a few knocked objects of mourning or design depending on how you might see it, which he stood up and placed correctly once more.
The rest of his morning of work flew by rather uneventfully, he had chosen to adopt this job after his mothers death for reason he was unsure but reason or not a job what something all men needed. He left at 12 taking the same route as before though by now the daylight surrounded him sun showing between clouds not quite too powerfully blaring and yet to sight still some level of irritation for his trip placed him in the glare of it's spotlight. Though it wasn't something that overly bothered him it did seem an often hindrance of the satisfaction his walk might bring, he took a moment to root through his pocket pulling out his phone and powering it on for he had turned such off quite a while back, for peace and sanctity of mind.
He knew what to expect as he turned on his mobile data and browsed through his messaging apps, his closest friend or what he guessed you'd call a friend, the man never irritated him too strongly and it seemed people were driven to some social structure which held having at least one friendship almost the priority of a normal healthy male especially ones still in their youth which he was supposed to be in.
The man's name also James, they had met in kindergarten where he had singled him out due to them having the same name which the child thought was pretty cool and fun and filled his imagination so ferociously, the man had proclaimed himself his best friend upon that first meeting and always stayed close with him 'The Dangerous James' a name he had so matter factly explained in childhood having been structured so, because the es means plural but also because they were secretly the same person. a kids imagination of course which Loostar himself had thought even then but also felt the need to fit in and friendship was the first method of so.
His parents had engrained in him the knowledge that he needed to try to fit in better ever since they had moved into the town he currently lived. his message read as James had grown to expect.
'Yo bro. we should hang, i've got no work and it's been so long, we should get hammered and fucking get out there,'
He thought not too strongly of an answer before replying
'I don't think so Graham, not feeling too well'
Graham was his surname which Loostar had chosen to refer to him as for sake of simplicity, he said so but he knew already what to expect.
'oh come on don't be a weird little bitch man, I know you're not sick man you're never fucking sick you freak'
perhaps if he felt more strongly in any manner he would reply in emotion with either laughter or aggression.
'Lol fuck you, alright'
'Thanks bby, you know I can't go anywhere without you bro you're my other half without you i'm only jam you're my es bro I can't do shit without my es man i'm only half a man without my es'
It of course had only been just over a week since they last went out which they both knew and Loostar more than anything knew not to even mention it, Graham had only recently broken up with a long time girlfriend she had cheated and he was pretty broken up about it, so he got way too drunk and emotional and James 'consoled' him which had honestly just been him half listening to the shit that came out of his mount with feigned interest and care.
An hour like clockwork passed between his exit from the graveyard and entrance back to his home. He threw off his heavy clothing headed straight to bed and slept like usual for an hour and a half no need for an alarm as his rituals had ingrained themselves deep within his unconscious mind and it's instinct would control such facilities of his mind. he dreamt nothing, as he never really did dream something he supposed wasn't normal but he had no control over and would not affect the outsides perception so he held not too much care for it.
Upon awaking he would wash water across his face as always in the repertoire of his routine, dry himself back to comfort and head to an inside gym he had worked on himself though it held only a threadmill and some loose weights, He ran for exactly an hour before doing two reps of 20kg dumbbells a short 5 minute break another run on the threadmill this time condensed into 45 minutes, two more reps, threadmill lowered to half an hour and so on until he wore down the time in 15 minute segments. Upon finishing he would head back to his bathroom for another shower this time allowing the water to soak upon his muscles for 15 minutes before drying himself and heading for his second rest of the day another hour and a half session which lasted until his pone began to ring.
'Get ready man, i'mma come up to yours man we can get a taxi or some shit, into town and then fucking lay waste be at yours in like 30 minutes tops'
'Sure i'll leave the door unlocked'
Cleaning himself up and throwing on cologne James would pick out a new outfit for the night another suit he thought as he was never averse to such, he placed out his favourite white suit, ironed out any creases it may hold threw it on, moved to his cupboard took out a ring made of white gold put it on and prepared himself checking the mirror to make sure nothing stood out of his comfortable level of neat.
He then headed downstairs unlocked his front door and waited in the kitchen for an hour as of course not too many would stick through with their ideas of time, never very accurate he had noticed and so had developed into using bloated timing himself more than once. Graham entered with pre-drinks and talked shit while they finished them.
All in all they headed around 9 to a nearby bar, Loostar grabbing himself a glass of whiskey and attempting to sit non proactively, though within hat felt like only 10 minutes Graham would come over with two girls he met and begin to introduce them both to his friend to such, the wingmans code as he called it there had to be the code of two, the two girls a brunette and a blonde were attractive Loostar could tell such though he never really cared too much for the efforts of active soul searching or flirtation, he did of course know which one Graham had set his eyes on the moment he saw the girls.
Graham had a thing for brunettes though if talked about he would always try to deflect such saying he liked all girls regardless of hair colour it would not take awfully long nor much effort to tell that all relationships and even further all women he seemed to hit on shared the same hair colour. James would be lying if he were to say he were unimpressed with what had been placed before him the woman was a darker shade of blonde and wore a black dress with matching purse she seemed to take pleasure in keeping herself well groomed, her fingers showed well that they were manicured to a manner none could complain over, painted black as all her attire, Gothic in her appearance she wore black lipstick pursed upon beautifully thick lips, her eyes a distant shade of blue with eyelashes and lids themselves painted to black which surrounded the eyes themselves.
James was not all too swayed with types though if he were to choose those women of whom's appearance most interested him this woman in front of him would fit upon the top of his list, her frame and shape a light but somewhat busty model, he imagined her breasts must fit into that of the larger side of c cups. Noticing his stares but seemingly not exactly noticing how exactly he perused she would speak up 'I'm in real estate, that's why my hairs blonde despite ya know everything else being black can't really go full gothic when trying to sell an elderly couple a house y'know? my names Jessica by the way but most call me Jess, Im sorry i'm rambling your friend said you worked in a graveyard that sounds pretty awesome' Feigning a smile as he had most of his life and adding a chuckle 'ha yeah it's not really all that much really it's quiet basically not too much people up on the 'busy hours' none living anyway, my name's James by the way.' he laughed shortly at his own sort of dark joke though only really after seeing her react with a soft giggle herself before she began to speak once more 'Still I don't know it sounds kinda hot y'know' she gently placed her hand upon his forearm and trickled her fingers down playfully
'You don't seem all that talkative you know but like I think that's pretty nice like i'm used of guys who just talk a lot of big shit about how great they are and how their lives are awesome'
he noticed as time passed on the Graham and the girl had left at some point during his speaking with this Jessica. He assumed the likeliest of actions and knew too himself what was normal at this point ordering himself and her a drink he would invite her back to his place though he chose instead of a taxi to invite her to walk enjoying night air. She held close to him and he would be lying if he said he had no feelings of satisfaction as all men or he should think all people and animals all beings felt lust and sexual desire for lust was like boredom uncontrollable, as they walked drinks in hand she 'accidentally spilt some on his shirt, he felt a small surge of electric in his mind though like a minor twitch it quickly dissipated, she drew him into an alleyway to take care of her awful mistake and clean the shirt she said, though more than such would unfold.
Months would pass, her becoming a staple of his diet and as was generally considered normal moved in to his home. A girlfriend was one of those things that normalcy deemed necessary and so such would he bring through. but boredom like lust was uncontrollable and upon arriving home from work he would find himself enthralled with her body in more than one simple way, as she slept upon his couch their couch he thought to correct himself, he would climb atop her knife in hand and a quick motion begin drawing blood from her forehead as he scratched the blade across licking the blood as it went along, she awoke at first unnoticing and smiling to his vision but as her consciousness dawned further upon her she would begin to scream, he would not silence her, he felt no need he enjoyed the sound he felt something for once, this was more than simple satisfaction and he would have it more so. she struggled, sending her knee into his manhood and momentarily knocking her from atop him though quickly he rose again and faster than her as he was he propped atop her as she tried to squirm from the sofa.
He smiled truly, really for the first time in this life of his he laughed as he started digging the blade into her more scratching the wounds carefully, she fought him every step of the way even as he tried doing more than simply cutting. the struggle lasted to him an exhilirating lifetime but truthfully closer to all of five minutes before he dug the knife in deep and watched in bliss as her breath left her body. he lay there in awe at his work for perhaps an hour maybe two before placing the knife in her hand, heading up the stairs and clearing his mind with a simple shower.
As thoughts circled quickly threw his head he knew could not manage to hide this there was too much evidence, though an idea had sprung to mind as he moving to her body made sure to get her prints alongside his on the handle of the knife and dug it into his own body a non lethal spot of course. he then picked up the knife dropped it just beside her body and opened his phone.
He rang for help false cries streaming down past his face 'I-I-sh-she's d-dead, oh my god she's dead, she she attacked me I was protecting myself, holy shit what have i don't what did I do fuck' he stated his address though clearly despite a false tempo of sadness pursed throughout the sounds of his voice carefully placed as he done so far within his life.
He had found something now in life and he would not allow himself to fall into neglection of it for the rest of his life he would make it a case of manslaughter please guilty falsify tears spend his few years in prison get out early with good behaviour and spend the time within both planning and also learning teaching himself all of which he can learn whilst in a prison.
As the EMT's came looking at his body they would quickly ascertain what he had said as true she was dead multiple cuts and a stab wound making such apparent as having not being her own doing through the angles and the cries of the man who called it was obvious what had happened or so they thought. Quickly a first responder would patch his own wound the stab being deep enough that it would need stitching was something very much apparent in the stab wound itself. taking him into hospital custody and calling forward the police. he would stay in a hospital room a few days as his wound was stitched and allowed settle in, before quickly being taken into police custody though it only lasted a day or so before bail had been paid.
'What the fuck happened man holy shit police and everything man, you're not supposed to be the fucking crazy man I am fuck me'
'She attacked me man we were getting into it and stuff and then she like pulled out a knife she had some sort of gore fetish or some shit'
'Damn man you know I fucking trust you but this is so surreal like I can't fucking believe this shit, fuck man she seemed alright man and I thought like that you and her seemed like ye were fucking getting along pretty fucking decently, and now you're saying she's some sort of black magic type fucking bitch with a fucking sacrificial goat type shit like I know she's a goth and shit but like fuck me man I need some space you know I love you dude but like fuck this is a lot to take in'
'Not black magic, gore fetish shit man'
They split ways at that point, James falling back into his normal routine, staying fit though his wound and dressing made it hard to do so very much stunting it but not completely eradicating it. He had always been fast enough to heal though and within a couple days the irritation would seem to simply fade away as he grew more and more accustomed to his old routine bored but he knew more now than ever before. it took a week before a court order was assigned to him the date set for the next month rather than putting work towards a lawyer and the like he would simply find himself spending more and more time at the graveyard thinking about death more verily than ever before but also of how simply one could end it. it's strength and yet it's fragility all holding some control if wanted over not only themselves but many others and god did he like the feeling. As the days towards the court date drew closer slowly but surely he would begin to stay nights in the graveyard often enough sleeping by the tombs and the like touching the stones which symbolled ones death, latched on in a manner of speaking to that which he felt now control over brought joy.
he felt some comfort in the days leaning towards the court hearing, making sure not to allow himself seem to be enjoying himself in any manner. which lay him in simplicity to do not very much yet still not much made him feel more than satisfaction it's simple nature regardless. he took walks upon the town and it's surroundings even walks within the graveyard and it's beautiful dark scenery especially so at night did it show itself in remarkable splendour to his eyes, the craftsmanship always drawing him closer though much more always seemed distant yet close to he as he ventured through the feeling of familiarity which as he grew also grew of itself and in itself.
For he felt a close bound to each grave and an attachment to the graveyard as a grounds but also an entity for it was as alive in his eyes as anything for what was more alive and bringing of life than that surrounded by death. the calm air whistled freely as he on occassion wondered how it were exactly he had been and he would be so much fundamentally the same yet different perhaps only on the inside as so many others for which he saw and met and 'befriended' he knew not of the natures or complexities of anything if much at all/
He kept clean the tombs and the the tombstones cleared all weeds he could find and dound himself retrimming the grass for he knew he would likely not be seeing such a place for years more to come and go how long shorter than too many is all his mind thought as it wandered so fervently on the everglades of it's own conscious concoction. he felt a closeness to the nature of death now more than when he had joined and perhaps finally did truly understand now why it was that he actually decided upon becoming the gravesman as he had instead of something far less odd and much more ordinary as akin to the rest of his choices in life for a man of whom appearing in all instances normal it had been to some degree out of character for he,
and yet still he trusted it as both a great choice for himself but also as a great method to which he could further his understandings of himself, whether nature innate was meant to seem so absurdly or his mind was merely a twisted depiction of that which was deemed safe and healthy he not only accepted but bathed in the comfort of thinking such thoughts upon himself for both in care and manner.
He left the graveyard for the last time in the next quite some amount of time. to some degree he guessed he felt what one might call sentimentality for it had been the first step towards his growing understanding of how he himself felt and it's need for more than the simple boredom mundanity brought him, not so much an obscurity to him now for eventual conflict would await to which he might one day find himself enthralled.
The court was a large white columned building with stainless glass windows and some degree of professionality in it's sombre appearance one could think upon first sight it was as though it screamed 'I Am Justice, Before Me Crime Doth Fall' though as all halls held true not always the correct prosecution could be possible he knew very well so for humanity was prone to accident and falling for it failed at times even with the best of minds or skill sets or what ever such might one substitute these words with. He walked up the steps a sizable enough crowd had grown around him some cursing and swearing and trawling others crying unstoppable tears. he held his head down low as though to falsify a sense of sorriness, though he of course knew he felt no real guilt other than in how stupidly and impulsively he had acted out not allowing himself time to caution and prepare himself for a murder he could hide.
As he stepped through the large double doors of the court cops following behind him he would be led to his station, his stage his pedestal. he looked deep upon the eyes and faces of those surrounding him the looks of the woman's parents or parent he should say he never talked much of her family or really anything he listened if she spoke bu only ever really spoke himself enough to signal life and mind coursing through his mind truly his only real plus in a relationship was the filling of his other urges and desires those which when alone found themselves though appearing not quite distantly to some degree unnecessarily uncomforting.
Her father was the parent to which had shown at the last he wondered if too her mother had passed though he knew not to think so for certain due to the large variety of variables life might entail. He was a well dressed gray haired man with a light beard and blue eyes not unlike his daughters had been, he tried to hide it but it was to some degree visible that tears had fallen through his face and wettened his beard the marks of aggressive wiping holding fiercely in his vision, the man's eyes were red also an indicator of crying. How death and such affected some people he wondered so how such mourning truly felt.
Looking upon the jury he saw many disgusted faces, something he expected though they were meant to be impartial and unaffected just as the judge himself too was meant to in decree emotions were only human and would creep past any defence. and so too did a lot of people find it disturbing when someone so young lost their life, she had been in her early 20's still after all the more he thought it through he could not quite think of what age she had been he supposed it had never really bothered him or he never really cared enough to allow it to bother him.
She had been just another carefully planned and executed prop to make him seem and feel more human and though she was a person people never really mattered that much to him, he had a libido like all men or most men at the least but even so that meant nothing of the person as anything more than an object to be used in whatever manner deemed itself most appropriate. Not something he would change rather something he would accept and acknowledge to himself. As he looked forward towards the judge with a face of acknowledgement a few minutes would pass before whispered speech would be quietened and the case itself would resolve the hearing lasted upwards of half an hour and ended with what he knew he could achieve through careful manipulation and falsified emotion.
He had searched during the course of the court for his father not only for the curiosity of whether he was there but also for the false sense of him looking for someone to guard him a fine way to call in pity or so he would commend himself so at least. Nevertheless he had in the end succeeded at what he planned and for that there was some satisfaction in planned success. He had been placed an 8 year manslaughter charge one which he planned in hopes to shorten to more like 4 through behaviour reasons for if he may act sorrowful and human outside of a prison so too should he be capable within the confines of a prisons walls.
Though perhaps more monitored he believed it could fully be such bad an experience for like that of himself more a learning opportunity than anything else. he was cuffed and led out of the court by prison guards. Whispers spread as he left most of sorriness for what was dealt to such a poor young man fate a wild and treacherous mistress all accepting of the verdict and how it was planned apart from the father. Who screamed and roared in protest before lunging upon James fist charging towards Loostar. who instinctively without thinking locked the man's arm between his cuffed arm and broke it through force.
As quickly as it had happened had he too understood the severity and the shittiness of luck he had been dealt for if he were capable of so easily disarming a not too small man while cuffed, how so would such a small petite thing prove him necessary of killing.